A Poem: Suicide Prevention Month

for a brother (in-laW) I never got to meet.

I see you, not through my eyes, but in others.
They share your memories which now are mine, only if a name I hear.
Your voice unheard, but perhaps a glimpse of you in my sons.
A brother who I did not meet but a brother all the same.
Unforeseen circumstances lay the shame.

The pen within scribing last words, and those words no one will ever hear.
Knowing a heart beats no more, ordered by the mind rings the bells and illuminates the lighthouses.
The sound is deafening.
The lights are blinding.
The blackness sits and the silence tolls.
Emotions burning coals.
How is it we only know when it is too late? The time we can never get back.
We all sadly miss that.

The tree which took J.R.R Tolkien and you fondly still grows.
In spring the leaves show.
In May we still go.
A family tree which roots the divide between you and I, so we remember you.
A physical you.
A you who you will always be.
A brother, a son, an uncle, a cousin, a friend, a memory, a smile, a thought, a laugh… a reminder.
I will remember you, through my mind, and through the eyes of others.
Still loved, still missed and always remembered.
Rest well, wherever you may be.

-Xander Panteli

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